R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Man. Even my best friend is sick of hearing about it. Is a month and a half enough to get over a guy? I've heard it's different if you've had sex with them. I suppose it's even more of an unusual case if they raped you.

Ah well.

I finally got him back for defacebooking me before. But mine wasn't out of anger. I had to put him out of my mind. And you know how it is; off of facebook wall, out of mind. Mostly. I deleted all his old texts. Even the really nice ones. I know he's bad for me and I'm better off without him, but I wish he would miss me.

Ah well.

Time to move on. Time to get so unbearably famous that I someday have the option to hire him as a janitor. Actually he should have no part of it. The dream, I mean. He should have no part in the dreams of my future. But it's hard to not wish he'll see me in the future, see my great success. Be envious, or even just respect me.

I think that's it. What I wanted more than anything from him. Respect. I wanted him to look at me and see something formidable. A formidable lover. An equal love. A worthy rival.

But I'm worthless in his eyes.

However.

His eyes do not measure my worth. They are incapable of such. I alone provide the worth, and myself and God may measure it. The rest can see it as they will.