Legend-WAITFORIT-ary!

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Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Dear God:

I'm dying down here. I'm aching inside. My heart is breaking.

There is nothing thus far in my life as hard as letting go of the man that didn't love me. At the same time as I try to set free the man that did. Goth guy doesn't care that I'm letting go, which breaks my heart. And Good guy is being malicious and cruel, jabbing what's left of my feelings with things I was honest to him about.

Please help me. Please save me from my feelings. You know how hard it is for me to try to let go. I loved Goth guy. And he took advantage of it. And I let him, because I was lonely and he was sweet, when he wanted something.

Even now I want to believe that it's not over. But at the same time I'm afraid of that. Afraid that he'll call, and I'll answer. I guess it's proof, if I'm not willing to kick him off my facebook. But I really prefer not to do that unless someone (like Good guy) says or does something awful to me.

While Goth guy has done much evil to me, he's done it nicely, so I still haven't really got any good dirt on him to get him kicked off the friend list.

Oh God forgive me. I'm a monster. And I'm so sad. And ashamed. Forgive me.

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