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Sunday, December 19, 2010

What was heaven is hell

It's so strange to feel my world twisting around into a new shape based on the Music man. I enjoy him, and all my time with him. But now suddenly a day that would usually have been wonderful was terrible because I didn't get to see him.

Of course, I've said very little about the Music man.

Divorced. You knew that. And yeah, it would appear that I've had sex with him. Once. TWO LONG WEEKS ago. Too long. I wanted to be with him today. We were going to spend the day together. But when it wasn't one thing, it was another.

The roomies had the cars. And then his evil bitch-faced boss decided he needed to babysit her granddaughter. WHAT THE HELL? He works at a fucking FAST FOOD RESTAURANT! But he's her freaking slave because he wants to be a manager and she owns his chances.

The boy needs a new job.

I mean, it's so awkward that I make more money than him. I wouldn't mind if he had a car of his own and always had enough gas money to come see me. And if his boss wasn't the psycho boss from hell that won't take no for an answer.

She once tried to force him to come in on his day off. He was spending the day with me, and refused. She was a bitch to him for a week and a half.

I just miss him. That's why I hate his job, the lack of a dependable vehicle and his stupid boss. Because I wanted to see him so bad today. And I didn't get to. And it made me cry.

I've never cried over someone that I know wants me not being able to see me.

The world is a whole new shape now.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

44 hours a week

I have a full time job. I'm so tired all the time I can't even think. I'm with "customer service". For one of your favorite phone companies. Can you hear me now? Bad news. In the homephone, tv and internet department you probably can't. Considering all the unhappy customers, they can't possibly be any good.

But more on my adventures as a super villain at another time.

Goth guy got married.... true love... had the gonads to brag about it and act like we were friends. I hope he trips over a curb and into a rift in time that would make it as though he never existed. He scarred me up so bad in my lady places that it's hard to have sex with the Music Man.

Music man is new. The first boyfriend. I hope what they say about the first one not working out doesn't apply to us because of just how weird all my previous experience is.

Another divorced man.

Broken. Only just divorced when we met. It kills me that someone else got to him before me. And messed him up good. It wasn't all her fault, they were both terrible, but still. He didn't intend to date so soon. But if I didn't have something good right now, I would be depressed and miserable. I don't tell him THAT per say because that's a lot of pressure. But the one time he panicked and tried to leave I stopped him. Because I want him. And I know he wants me.

He was just afraid that it might be wrong. I told him I was willing to take the risk.