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Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Antonio

Recently I went to a friend's house.

I sat at a table with her and her mother-in-law and we talked of many things. Of men and sex and cigarettes, of work and school and masturbation.

I've never had that kind of conversation with my own MOTHER.

It was fascinating. We talked about how my friend had technically been her own first, since she popped her cherry with a vibrator. Interesting. I think that's actually a great idea, personally. I'm a virgin, so I worry about that sort of thing on occasion. I don't want to cover some poor guy's bed in blood the first time I have sex. Maybe I'll be my first. If I can actually get up the courage to push that hard...

I also found out that, on the vibrator tech scale, I'm pretty much at the bottom. I use a toothbrush. My friend has a bunny. This is a pink, vibrating cock with a set of bunny ears meant to stimulate the happy spot at the same time.

I think her mother-in-law said something about a bull? I don't even KNOW what that is. I am way behind in the pleasure toy market.

Heck, sometimes I don't even know if I'm supposed to masturbate! Many Christians claim that it in itself is a sin. I, however, am nearly certain that 'THOU SHALT NOT PLEASURE THYSELF' is not in the Bible. I think maybe masturbation encourages lust... which IS something they mention in the Bible. Many, many times. But if you can really control yourself... You're just not supposed to lust for something you can't have, like somebody else's wife or husband or donkey.

(Why the donkey? Don't ask me. But that IS covered. In Deuteronomy, I think. I'd like to think they're just not supposed to lust after other people's STUFF in the stuff-lust sense, but maybe it IS in the sexy-lust sense. I mean, if you've gotta pick an animal to rape, I would probably go with something that doesn't kick.)

Anyway, I do it regardless. And mostly I don't lust after anything I can't have (until recently. I really wish Goth guy would come around.). I just need to please myself. It helps to tire myself out sometimes, when I can't sleep. And it helps me feel a little better when I've been jilted by a jerk.

Oh, also. My toothbrush, he's special. I know he's not bright pink, and he isn't shaped like any man-members, but he has a name. My toothbrush-lover's name is Antonio. That's what makes him different from all the other toys. That and he was immensely cheaper.

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