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Sunday, January 4, 2015

Because elsewhere, I can't

My ex and I got pretty close in a friend ish way before he left. Obviously a couple times he took advantage of that closeness and I failed to stop him. I'm upset that he didn't respect my request the first time, but oh well. Sucks that I dropped my self respect. To clarify, we didn't bang.

It would appear that he was just cozying up to a warm body until he could get to his girlfriend in Washington. Because now he's basically fallen off the planet, as far as friendship goes. I unfollowed him on facebook so I wouldn't have to see all the love and googly eyes they keep posting.

It hurts that, once again, he used me. He wasn't being my friend so much as using me as a bookmark. It feels like they're smearing their love all over the walls and rather than let me be, they're making me watch and using my blood as paint.

So hence this drawing. Because I was upset but couldn't post it on facebook, instagram or snapchat lest he see it and misunderstand.

It's not about love.

It's about being used, replaced, and kept in reach so I have to watch it happen.

It was a shitty thing for a friend to do.

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