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Sunday, December 28, 2014

Generally irritated

And over stupid bullshit, too. I'm glad my ex is out of my immediate life. We fooled around a couple times over the last week before he left town and I'm supremely disappointed in myself. I mean, we didn't have sex. But I definitely dropped my self-respect and I'm very unhappy about it.

However I find myself having irritating feelings of jealousy about his girlfriend. (They are in an open relationship. This in no way justifies my behavior.)

She's a prettier, more successful (perceived) version of me. Great artist. Avid gamer. Has my hair style without my pink and my side locks. Has also fabulous guages, but a larger size.

And she's a stoner and being taken for a ride by my indecisive ex that I do NOT. Want back.

So what in the Hell is my problem? Is it that I'm irritated he doesn't have a crush on me anymore? Is it how much more he's willing to do for her than he ever did for me? I mean, shit! He moved across the country for her!

I'm irritated that it's irritating me. Lames. My focus is paying dearly for this.

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