Ms. Lonely

I'm so lonely.

A few days ago I took almost all of the Ex's stuff that was still at my house and drove it over to his place at 3 in the morning. He'd been living in my condo and paying rent for his own. He seriously didn't go there for months.

And now he actually lives over there. And my house is so empty. And I'm sad and lonely. I worry about him still when I don't hear from him. But now there's nothing I can do about it.

I know he's not eating. Dumbass has no food because he eats out while he has money but then has no groceries once he only has enough left to pay rent. I try to help out, I say I'll call him after work and we'll do dinner or something.  He says that sounds good.

I call. He doesn't answer. Did I just get stood up by my ex?

I hate empty house. I hate that tomorrow I'm going to get up at 9:30 and do the same exact thing that I did the last 2 days. Go to work. Work for 9-10 hours. Come home and feel too tired to do anything creative, fun or useful. At least I'll be able to pay my car registration and some extra bills. I'm not buying groceries so I can scrape together enough money to buy my mom a Christmas present.

And here I am at the computer again, typing out to nobody because I'm so sad, and it's the only way to vent without compromising my comprehended emotional strength.

Ugh. I give up for now.