Legend-WAITFORIT-ary!

Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

SeX-files

In the interest of sexually educating myself I find myself filling my internet search history with horrifying things:

The dirty sanchez: I heard it mentioned on south park and I thought, huh, what an odd name for a sex position. I'll have to look that up. Pretty much involves fingering somebody in the asshole and drawing them a grody new mustache.

Did you know that the whips and chains are actually pretty light as far as bondage goes these days? There are women that drive giant needles through their breasts and put clamps on their labias. Yeah, I kind of thought I was kinky. I've got nothing on em.

I've found I've got a bit of a fetish for vine bondage porn. Generally it's all drawn, rather than pictures or videos.

A secondary note on vine bondage porn, I discovered a very disturbing picture of Yoshi in that particular search. No, I shan't link it. Google it. I'm sure you'll find it. But I'm not going to shoulder any responsibility for any kind of psychological trauma.

Tossing the salad, rimming and licking asshole all mean the same thing. Feels good to receive, blows my sense of self-worth to hell when I do it. (frankly goth guy insisted and I hate him for it. I hope he trips over a curb and messes his face up so bad that even his fancy new wife won't touch that shit.)

It is really freaking hard to find good written erotica online. Really, really hard. It's like there's no middle ground between too much plot (published erotica) and the scripts that the B rate porn industry rejected (the stuff I find online).

Seriously. I found a story about a crazy raping alien. It didn't get me horny. It just left me wondering how I'd managed to get to the end. (I've decided it's the same basic deal as a car accident with multiple fatalities. Just couldn't look away. No matter how horrible it was.)

Actually the best erotica I found online was accidental, whilst searching vine bondage on deviantart.com. I discovered this gem. The title is Fetish Island and it's a choose your own path erotica! GOOD IDEA. I commend the writer.

No comments:

Post a Comment