The Universe keeps changing

Well I keep trying to change it, anyway.

And I CAN change it.

I've tried to take control of my body since I last posted. I've been running every night. Not really all that far, but when you're as active as an avid knitter currently obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer reruns, three quarters of a mile can seem like a lot.

That feels like it should be doing me good, but more than a month later I've lost nothing. I've heard rumors of muscle weighing more than fat and all... I HAVE lost an inch around my belly...

Well anyway NOW I'm upping the ante. Ante. What the hell does that mean, anyway? Pardon me while I go google it.

Ohhhhhh. Means poker stakes. So upping the ante is when you raise. Got it.

ANYWAY. NOW I'm upping the ante. I bought diet supplements and protein powder! The pills have green tea and acai berry extract. They act as both a laxative (ew) and as a diet suppressor. More importantly they were the second cheapest bottle on the shelf. And vegetarian.

I got the protein powder to make myself less hungry. it's HORRIBLE!! I need to bake it into protein cookies or something, because it's not super bearable at breakfast time. It's like hot coco, but cold. So it doesn't really dissolve right. So it has the consistency of milk mixed with sand. Horrible, vanilla flavored sand.

OH. And making it into cookies is going to be a bit more difficult because I'VE STOPPED EATING SUGAR. Cold turkey. Just like that. I didn't realize the headaches were part of that until my father asked me how the withdraw was going.

I never thought I could give up sugar. Of course I never thought I could give up cheese burgers or provolone either. But here I am. The sugar free vegan that runs every night and now ingests horrible, horrible protein powder. (SOY protein, thank you very much.)

Hell, I've even been doing reps with my mothers dumbbells and crunches after I run.

If I don't morph into the incarnate image of Aphrodite after all this, I'll be wanting my security deposit back.

And there's one more think I think I need to invest in: An "e-cig". Electric cigarette. Instead of sucking tar, you suck vapor. Still get a healthy dosing of nicotine poisoning, but none of the other chemicals that usually come along with the common packed-paper cigarette.

I'm certainly not addicted to cigarettes now, but I've been drinking more. And when I drink, I love to smoke. So I think I would use the e-cig while drinking. That way I can smoke as much as I want without feeling incredibly guilty the next day, and without feeling the need to deprive myself of my beloved cancer-causers for weeks after.

Huzzah for a better way to integrate poison with my body!