I'm trying to lose (MORE) weight. I'm using a special facial cleaner to clear my skin. I'm running every night. I'm actually putting make-up on before I leave the house.
It just makes sense! One of my more vapid friends told me that she usually gets over stuff that way. Although I rarely take her advise, this particular idea struck me as clever. I've always considered it shallow to focus on myself too much, I thought it vain. But maybe it's exactly what I need. Like a spa day. Only it's a spa month. Year. However long it takes.
I need to make myself beautiful and healthy and successful. Get artwork into the school gallery. Start finishing my novel. Finish the two short stories I'm working on. Finish learning spanish. Learn sign language. And then, next time I run into him, if I must, I won't have anything to be ashamed of. Just lots to be proud of. So maybe it won't bother me so much.
I just hope I never see goth guy again. Along with my apparent trauma/shock, I appear to also have come down with acid reflux. Damnit. It comes from the stress. I'm always at school. And I'm always afraid I'll run into him.
Ways I can deal with this: Running at night really does help. Maybe I'll do a yoga class or something. I could smoke more. Liquor.
I'm hoping to get a new job soon. Either a second part time working as an art teacher, or a full time job in medical records. I have a pending interview for the art position, and I had an interview a couple weeks back for the medical records. They said if I didn't hear back in three weeks, to move on.
Looking for a job SUCKS. I'm stressed about money, still dealing with my messed up emotions, having sudden homo-erotic feelings for a friend, and I STILL have a girly infection. My life is out to get me.
I think I went on the job segment because I would then have the money for an electric cigarette. Which I could smoke as often as I darn well please. And that would help with the stress.
And on that note:
¡¡¡100 posts!!!
(huzzahs, confetti)
(huzzahs, confetti)
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