Hell is an eating disorder

I'm a bulimic. I vomit up my food when I feel I've had too much. Which is often.

So far once a day.

Goth guy made me feel bad about my body. Yeah, he called me big when we were drunk. Whatever. THAT didn't bother me.

What bothered me was when he emphasized how he only talked about how beautiful my FACE is. That selfish, conceited, self-conscious, self-loving, dramatic, pale, skinny, old BASTARD!!!!!!!!

But if I make him feel bad about himself, I'M a BITCH!? I just tried to tell him what he did to me while he was DRUNK OUT OF HIS MIND!!!

I know I should find help. But I so want him to look at my body and say, You are the sexiest body I have ever fucked. Bahahaha. Sad, isn't it? I WANT to be objectified.

Goth guy, what have you done to me?