Of note:

I am so miserable right now. I wonder if he knows that he's the reason why? I certainly hope he doesn't think that he needs to be around to cheer me up. All I want is to burst out of my silence and tell him that I don't want him around any more.

Easier said than done when we're both lounging around in our underpants and he's been trying to cheer me up all night.

I think the next time he hangs out at his place for a couple days (usually during the weekend when he has days off) I'll strike. And by strike, I mean that when he calls to hang out on the last night of his weekend because he's going to need a ride to work the next day, I'm going to tell him I can't. Then he'll have to fend for himself.

I hate sitting here in my house, knowing he's around, seeing him sit there and vegetate on his phone, playing games or texting girls or whatever he's really doing. He doesn't realize I'd be actually doing something with my life if it wasn't for him. That I'd have probably picked up a book or worked on my novel... Although I have been working on Mario 64, that counts as doing something with my life, in my book.

This depression is getting deeper. And the cure is to finally, at long last be alone. I've never wanted to be single so badly. I never knew I could want it so bad. To be free...