Oh HELL no

Good guy is engaged again. A week after professing his undying love for me and telling me he was willing to wait for me to sort myself out. I find myself feeling a bit burned because I believed him when he said he would wait.

Instead I find he has returned to his ex-fiance. Whom was crazy and hated his parents, according to him. Also, according to him it was a bad relationship. Just... wow.

He actually told me that it was better for him to wait for me than to be in a bad relationship. Apparently not.

My friend says I must have broken his heart.

It was unintentional. I really actually kind of hoped he would wait for me. Maybe I'd get over Goth guy, and then I could fall for Good guy for reals.

My friend also says that if you chase two rabbits, you lose both.

Well, it's like the men in my life coordinate their attacks for maximum damage to my already delicate emotional state. I mean, SERIOUSLY! They must be like women. Their periods must synch like ours. Only, they synch with the periods of men that are also involved with their object of affection.

Clever, men. Very clever.

Books and lovers

A list of updates, after looking through the last month or so of posts:

My new toys are named Alejandro and Tchaikovsky. Alejandro vibrates. Tchaikovsky does not. But Tchaikovsky is made of silicon for easy cleaning and is bright blue. (realistic toys scare me. So much.)

I finished Life of Pi. It was disturbing in a very deep way and I highly recommend it. I also finished The Battle Sylph, by new author L. J. McDonald. It was average, even only so so... and yet somehow I'm impressed by it. I think I was mislead.

It LOOKED like a dirty romance novel. Which was sort of why I got it. I mean, CHRISTINE FEEHAN recommended it! Do you REALIZE what she WRITES? VAMPIRE SMUT! And "changeling" smut. And witch smut. And more recently, genetic-experiments-gone-wrong smut.

Heh. The first three or four books are pretty exciting. And then you realize that they are all EXACTLY the same. And then you feel a little bit pathetic. Like you should add some variety to your smut or something.

Anyway, the battle sylph LOOKED like that but ended up being a fantasy with a touch of not-all-that-graphic romance. I mean, I got a little, erm, excited during certain bits, but there was none of those "pulsing member" or "hot sheath" type descriptions.

Hell, I should write a romance. It would be easy and very profitable. I could even add the emotional resolution that I feel most smutty romance novels short change us on. Make it so the woman really WAS special in some way, not just hot or royal blood or annoyingly lucky. I'd make her special.

And I'd make the man DIFFERENT. Not your run-of-the-mill football player demi-god turned all powerful vampire type stuff. Hell, I don't even WANT the guys to be all THAT weird. I'd actually appreciate a leading man with a personality.

Oh, and I finished Girl with the Pearl Earring. Meh. Great book. The ending was.... realistic. Which is good, but [SPOILER ALERT!!!! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW THEN DON'T FINISH THIS SENTENCE!] I hate it when truth and love don't prevail.

Of note:

You know I'm starting to resent how dependent I am on facebook when I congratulate myself for staying on only long enough to check my notifications and scroll through my top news section.

(and I scrolled faster over goth guy's link, so I wouldn't have to think about him. I am a pillar of resistance and feminine strength. *eyeroll*)

Words of curse

I've been cursing a lot lately. I blame penny-arcade. Which is a really great webcomic. That makes me want to be violent and vulgar. I guess you pick up the habits of those you hang out with... which have been:

The webcomic, my buddy that likes to party at her wild party house, this awesome lesbian couple with really angry language, and HBO. (I know, I know. I'm SORRY! I'm addicted to true blood. It can't be helped.)

It's funny. The party friend is trying to stop cursing. So instead she uses terrible replacers like "Yucky!!". Really. Yucky? ERGH. I'd prefer a nice loud FUCK to 'yucky'.

If you MUST replace angry words (as I'm beginning to suspect i should) then PLEASE! Use cool sci fi curses! Like "Frack" and "Gorramit"! Do not join the Ned Flanders consciousness. Your words are worth more than that.

Brain ninja

The comedian Dane Cook once called women brain ninjas. Said we'd say something that wouldn't bother a guy at first, but then it would fester inside their heads until they went mad.

Well, Dane, I've got rather uncomfortable news: Men can be brain ninjas too.

Exhibit A: Goth guy.

Is.

Fucking.

With.

My.

Brain.

Damn him... He'll call, we'll have a perfectly human conversation... Except he keeps bringing the topic back to why he's withdrawing from the world and how he just doesn't want to go out lately, "that's all". Okayyyyy....

The warning sign there was that I didn't ask but he said it anyway.

The second red flag was that he brought it up three times. About how he was fine. He was okay. And I was like, okay, that's great! But he KEPT BRINGING IT UP.

So eventually, I was like, "Is everything REALLY okay?"

"YES! I've just been telling you this whole time that I'm okay!" or something like that.

Which brings him to my LEAST. FAVORITE. HABIT. Worse than that whole break-it-off-once-every-month-and-a-half habit. and I really, really hate that habit.

So you can imagine just how much I hate the "HonestGoth can't say ANYTHING right because Goth guy is on his PERIOD right now" habit.

You FUCKED me at the beginning of this month. You took my FUCKING virginity, punk! DO NOT BITCH AT MEEE! Oh no. Do not.

Ironically, the last "HonestGoth can't say ANYTHING right because Goth guy is on his PERIOD right now" conversation we had was about a week before he fucked me.... So for all I know this means I'm gonna get some next week.

Which I shouldn't look forward to. But crave. Like drinking vodka, smoking cigarettes, eating guacamole and becoming ridiculously, flamboyantly famous some day.

But I admit after each of these conversations I secretly hope he'll just never come back. You know, let me finally continue on in my life? Give me the chance to build the walls that will (unsuccessfully) keep all men out of my life for good?

A girl can dream. Eventually I have to go through menopause, right? In thirty years or so... surely my libido will have bitten the dust by then. Just gotta wait thirty more years.

Of note:

We do seem to do that, don't we?

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2005/4/6/

Of note:

I wonder how unspeakably evil it would be to wear a giant batman shirt and a pair of yoga pants to the grocery store.