Of note:

Damnit he's gotten into my head. Not gonna let him win. Even with his "you're the only one like me..." routine. Or his evil hint game. Where he basically started to wonder if I was special even though he was older. Aka:

"I know I am (pick a large number between 30 and 40) but still maybe..."

"Maybe what?"

"Nothing. It is nothing."

"Okay."

Heh. I really like acting like I don't give a damn. And actually I kind of don't. Because it's all a game and I understand that now.

And yet I can't stop fantasizing about his holding me tight and kissing my neck, trying to ignite my arousal, trying to seduce me, whilst I struggled.

DAMNIT!

I do believe this calls for a post on bondage.

Horriblescopes:

Taurus love horoscope for yesterday:

"It will help you to stick firmly to your inner feeling about a certain relationship, and to refuse to be dissuaded from taking the course of action that you know is best. The current astral configuration indicates you have considered the issue deeply, and are even willing to admit that you could be wrong, yet a persistent hunch has become too overpowering. Listen to what it is telling you."

First ever applicable horoscope. This is an important moment in history. (remember, yesterday Goth guy came crawling back. On his knees. Wow. I can't believe he got on his knees.)

But I know the best course of action was the one I took. Where I said NO. Because I am awesome.

Of note:

Little does the horny bastard know that I too have decided to grow a goatee.

I'm awesome

You won't believe who got down on his knees and apologized to me tonight.

And tried to kiss me. And FAILED. Twice.

"Can I kiss you?"

'No.'

"Just a small one?"

'No.'

"Please?"

'No. No no no no no no no.'

He leans forward.

I lean backward.

My only regret is letting him hug me. And then not being able to escape when he started kissing my neck the way he knows I like it.

But I continued my reign of girl power by pulling away as soon as he let me go and telling him it was no good. I was going to be strong. Goodbye, I said. And then I left.

I AM awesome.

Of note:

I'm so relieved I don't have to see your face on my facebook wall anymore. Huh. I guess I must be getting over you! HUZZAH!!

Redeeming bad habits

Each man, woman and child battles a bad habit.

Thumbsucking. Porn. Smutty romance novels. Smoking. Drinking. Masturbation. Art school. Crack cocaine. Take your pick. The options are limitless. Some are cheap or free, like porn. Some are really expensive. Like smoking. Some will kill you faster than others. Like art school.

But maybe we need bad habits.

I was texting with a friend and in a deep blue funk about my lousy luck with the *other* gender. We argued for some time (amiably) about the making a big deal out of it versus faking improvement while I'm still miserable on the inside and dreaming pathetic dreams of return and revenge in the day and having nightmares about it at night.

She finally concluded that it sounds like I need to start a bad habit.

I said, "I smoke, I drink, I read romances, I masturbate, I go to art school AND I'm vegan. What bad habits are left to redeem me!?"

We decided that crack was too expensive and that I didn't have enough options and just a little less than the required courage for nymphomania, so she suggested porn. It is generally cheap... Or even better, I could run my own site and actually profit from it!

"Does whoring my image count as a bad habit?" I wondered.

Any habit would do. Anything to obsess over that wasn't him. Perhaps he in himself was a bad habit? And what better way to kick one habit than with three others? I managed veganism all in one shot... I didn't have to ween myself off of animal product.

Smoking is something I choose to do, maybe once in a week. Some months I just don't smoke. It's never been a vice. Nor has drinking. But fooling around with some fella? I guess I've found my own personal crack.

I wonder how well me-porn would sell... Do you think I could use pay pal? Hmmmmm.

I could probably use it to support my art school habit.

Of note:

I drank a whole bunch of almond milk yesterday.
Today my lady space smells like almond extract!

Awesome.