Thank You for Curing me of my Ridiculous Obsession with Brownies... or not

So I once stumbled upon a delicious looking brownie blog. I bookmarked it, but since then firefox has crashed at least twice. Today I craved brownies (seeing as school is finally at an end, it seems to be about time that I started eating more unhealthily). So I googled "Brownie blog".

There are a lot of blogs about brownies. I had no idea!!

So in other news, I'm out of school. And pretty sad about it. I like school! It keeps me productive! It gives me something to do! So once school is over, I feel pretty much useless. But moreso this year than any year before. I keep kicking myself, asking myself, what did I do LAST summer? What did I do during break?

I think I was crushing. That must be it. And now that my ideals about love and dating have been shot down and processed (thanks goth guy. go to hell.), I have nothing to waste my time on. I guess that's good, seeing as I've already edited a paper and written most of a blog post and it's only noon on the first day.

But it's scary. It means I have all this potential to do great things this summer, so if I don't do them, then I have no excuse.

I miss school.

I mean, yeah, the last two weeks were so busy that I didn't even waste time posting, but I'm really proud of most of my results. I have an incredible sculpture that went over well and the beginnings of a truly kick-ass portfolio. And I have a new drive.

I hope that it drives me into the future I've been dreaming of.

(you know, the one where I'm a ridiculously famous author/artist and goth guy scrubs my floors in my extra-large mansion? yesssssss. That one.)

P.S. that title really made me want to watch Moulin Rouge.

Redeeming bad habits

Each man, woman and child battles a bad habit.

Thumbsucking. Porn. Smutty romance novels. Smoking. Drinking. Masturbation. Art school. Crack cocaine. Take your pick. The options are limitless. Some are cheap or free, like porn. Some are really expensive. Like smoking. Some will kill you faster than others. Like art school.

But maybe we need bad habits.

I was texting with a friend and in a deep blue funk about my lousy luck with the *other* gender. We argued for some time (amiably) about the making a big deal out of it versus faking improvement while I'm still miserable on the inside and dreaming pathetic dreams of return and revenge in the day and having nightmares about it at night.

She finally concluded that it sounds like I need to start a bad habit.

I said, "I smoke, I drink, I read romances, I masturbate, I go to art school AND I'm vegan. What bad habits are left to redeem me!?"

We decided that crack was too expensive and that I didn't have enough options and just a little less than the required courage for nymphomania, so she suggested porn. It is generally cheap... Or even better, I could run my own site and actually profit from it!

"Does whoring my image count as a bad habit?" I wondered.

Any habit would do. Anything to obsess over that wasn't him. Perhaps he in himself was a bad habit? And what better way to kick one habit than with three others? I managed veganism all in one shot... I didn't have to ween myself off of animal product.

Smoking is something I choose to do, maybe once in a week. Some months I just don't smoke. It's never been a vice. Nor has drinking. But fooling around with some fella? I guess I've found my own personal crack.

I wonder how well me-porn would sell... Do you think I could use pay pal? Hmmmmm.

I could probably use it to support my art school habit.